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  • You guys, right now it's time for "Tonight Show Hashtags".

    各位,現在是「Tonight Show 主題標籤」的時間。 (註:Hashtag 是各個社群媒體,在#之後加上關鍵字的主題標籤)

  • Let's check it out.

    我們來看看。

  • Hashtags. (music)

    主題標籤。(音樂)

  • You guys are on Twitter, right?

    你們有在用推特,對吧?

  • It's fun. We use Twitter on our show every single week.

    這超好玩的。我們每個星期都會用推特。

  • So, if you watch our show and you want to play along, we do this thing every Wednesday, where I send out a hashtag, and we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic.

    所以,假如你在看節目然後想要跟我們一起玩的話,我們每個星期三都會玩這個,我會公布一個主題標籤,然後我會請你們根據我所公布的主題,發布一則貼文。

  • So, because the season finale of The Bachelor is coming up, I went on Twitter and started a hashtag called "#awkwardbreakup".

    所以,因為單身漢本季的最終章準備要上演了 (註:The Bachelor 美國真人實境的約會節目),所以我決定在推特開始「#超尷尬分手」這個標籤。

  • And I asked you guys to tweet out a funny or awkward breakup story that happened to you or someone you know.

    我請你們發表一則好笑或是尷尬的分手故事,無論是發生在自己身上或是你認識的其他人身上。

  • We got thousands of Tweets.

    我們收到上千則推特貼文。

  • I mean, a lot of people have great stories.

    我的意思是,很多人都有很棒的故事。

  • In fact, within a half hour, it was a worldwide trending topic.

    事實上,在半個小時之中,這變成全球風靡的話題。

  • So, thank you for those Tweets.

    所以,感謝你們的貼文。

  • I appreciate it.

    我誠心感謝。

  • They're all...they're all awkward.

    它們...它們都很尷尬。

  • Breaking up is the worst, and it's just nothing good about it.

    分手真的有夠慘,也沒有什麼好事可以說。

  • But then, when it's awkward, that's the funny part of it.

    但,當它很奇怪的時候,那就是好笑的部分。

  • That's what makes me laugh.

    那就是讓我發笑的點。

  • So, now, I thought I would share some of my favorite awkward breakup Tweets from you guys.

    所以,現在,我想跟你們分享一些你們之中我最喜歡的尷尬故事文。

  • Here we go.

    我們開始吧。

  • This first one's from @MikeFeeneyPXP.

    這個第一則來自 @MikeFeeneyPXP。

  • He says, "She emailed it was over."

    他說: 「她 email 說一切結束了。」

  • "Waited."

    「等了一會。」

  • "Got impatient."

    「等到不耐煩。」

  • "Called me and said, 'You should check your email!' then hung up."

    「打給我,然後說『你應該去檢查你的 Email!』之後就掛電話了。」

  • God!

    天呀!

  • That's cold. Yeah, cold-blooded.

    這真是無情。對呀,冷血。

  • Cold-blooded, man.

    冷血呀。

  • Cold-blooded.

    冷血。

  • This one's from @Ang4ND1.

    這則來自 @Ang4ND1。

  • She says, "I broke up with my boyfriend, but he was so drunk that he forgot and showed up to hang out the next day, so I had to break up with him again."

    她說:「我跟我的男友分手但他喝醉到全忘了,當他第一天出現準備出去晃晃時,我只好再跟他分手一次。」

  • It's like, you made me do this twice?

    這就像是, 你讓我做了兩次?

  • That made it awkward for me. It's over, again.

    有夠尷尬的。一切都再次結束了。

  • Yeah, you're good at it now.

    是呀,那你現在肯定很在行。

  • This one is awesome.

    這個太屌了。

  • This one's from @ryanmarbles.

    這則來自 @ryanmarbles。

  • He says, "My girlfriend dumped me while I was paying for a pizza, and the delivery guy felt so bad that he gave me a hug."

    他說:「我女友在我付 pizza 錢的時候甩了我,送餐員難過到給了我一個擁抱。」

  • Hugs on the house, buddy.

    老兄, 擁抱免費,我請客。

  • Get over here. Come on, I'll bring it.

    過來吧。加油,盡量哭吧。

  • Is that a bread stick in your pocket, or you're happy to see me?

    在你口袋中的是麵包棍,還是你高興見到我? (註:Mae West 梅·蕙絲的經典台詞。Mae West 是黑白電視時代的美國演員,以黃色雙關語最為熟知。這邊的意思,就是男子抱到送餐員時,感受到不該感受到的東西。)

  • No way!

    才不是!

  • This one's from @jameskorkie.

    這則來自 @jameskorkie。

  • He says, "I once had a girl break up with me in the jeans aisle of Marshalls."

    他說:「有一個女孩曾經在出清百貨的牛仔褲專區跟我分手。」(註:Marshalls是美國著名的購物商場,主要販賣過季的品牌商品,但絕對不是分手的好場所。)

  • Oh, that's good.

    喔,這個蠻屌的。

  • That was...that was awkward. Bastard, why can't you think you can wait?

    這超...超尷尬的。可惡,你為什麼不能多等一會?

  • No.

    等不住。

  • I can't do it. I can't wait any longer.

    我無法。我等不下去了。

  • Jeans aisle of Marshalls.

    出清百貨的牛仔褲專區。

  • Oh, this one's weird.

    這則超怪。

  • This one's from @hannah_eve.

    這則來自 @hannah_eve。

  • She says, "After the breakup, he said he was finished dating and wanted to live his life alone like his great aunt did."

    她說:「分手之後,他說他受夠約會了,他決定要跟自己的大姑媽一樣過獨居的生活。」

  • What?

    這啥?

  • Weird people, man!

    怪人!

  • My great aunt, Edna; she lived alone for thirty years of Manse on the hill.

    我的大姑媽 Edna;她在山上的修道院住了三十年。

  • She had the best life ever.

    擁有全世界最美好的生活。

  • She would go up and down the stairs, like...

    她會像這樣上下階梯......(註:美國獨居老人常常會在家中加裝上下樓梯的電動座椅。)

  • She had three thousand cats.

    她有三千隻貓。 (註:美國人對於獨居老人的印象就是養了很多寵物。)

  • Staff of National Geography says "Aye" at your head.

    國家地理頻道的工作人員看到她還要敬禮。

  • We found her corpse.

    我們找到她的屍體了。 (註:獨居老人常常音訊全無,所以死了也不知道。)

  • She was clutching the remote control.

    她手裡還拿著遙控器。

  • We haven't heard from her in two years.

    我們已經兩年沒有跟她聯絡了。

  • By the time you showed up, there's a house full of thousands of fat cats.

    當你出現時,就會看到一屋子上千隻的肥貓。 (註:fat cats除了指吃的肥胖的貓外,也帶有暗諷華爾街肥貓的意思,意指專撈別人的油水,自己卻遊手好閒。)

  • I won't describe the rest.

    其他的我不說了。

  • One of them, Merda, opened the fridge.

    有一隻,瑪達,打開了冰箱。

  • Unbelievable! Never knew cats can do that. Made a casserole. The mustard was spectacular.

    完全不敢相信!不知道貓會做這種事。用砂鍋做了燉菜。芥末的風味真的棒極了。

  • [Indistinct]

    [聲音模糊]

  • There I was sitting with a bunch of cats.

    我就跟一群貓坐在那裏。

  • Someone should make a painting of that.

    有人真該為我們畫一張圖。

  • Then they played poker.

    之後牠們就玩撲克牌。

  • Then we played poker with dogs.

    然後我們就跟狗玩撲克牌。

  • Anyway, I want to live like her.

    總之,我就是想跟她活的一樣。

  • I've worn their skins for years.

    我穿了他們的皮毛好幾年了。

  • Oh, all right.

    噢, 好了。

  • This one's from @YoussefOujdad.

    這則來自 @YoussefOujdad。

  • He says, "I broke up with my high school girlfriend using an Excel chart to illustrate the downward trend of our relationship."

    他說:「我跟我的高中女友分手,用一張 Excel 圖表來描繪我們向下墜落的感情。」

  • You notice here that there's a sharp decline of snuggles.

    你可以看到,在這裡我們依偎的次數有明顯的遞減。

  • In the month of June, we didn't snuggle at all.

    在六月,我們完全沒依偎。

  • Your comments. Oh! How I love them.

    你的評論。喔!我超愛這些貼文。

  • This one's from @AmyKimiko.

    這則來自 @AmyKimiko。

  • She says, "A guy broke up with me and his final words were, 'This relationship is terminated.'."

    她說:「有一個男生跟我分手,他最後的話是『這段感情終結了。』。」 (註:電影梗,阿諾所主演的魔鬼終結者 (The Terminator) 有一句經典台詞,就是 "You are terminated.")

  • He won't be back.

    他不會再回來了。 (註:魔鬼終結者的片尾都會說 "I'll be back.",這邊主持人刻意說"He won't be back.")

  • This one's from @JordanPhillie.

    這則來自 @JordanPhillie。

  • He says, "I had a terrible cold when my girlfriend broke up with me. When she said, 'I want to see other people,' I accidentally sneezed in her face."

    他說:「我女友跟我分手時,我剛好重感冒,當她說『我想跟別人約會』時,我不小心在她臉上打了個噴嚏。」

  • Yeah. There you have it.

    哇賽。就如你們看到的。

  • This is the "Tonight Show Hashtags".

    這就是「Tonight Show 主題標籤」。

  • Check out more of our favorite quotes to TONIGHTSHOW.COM/HASHTAGS.

    你可以在 TONIGHTSHOW.COM/HASHTAGS 看看其他我們喜歡的貼文。

  • Or some of you might be downloading our new Tonight Show App, available on iTunes, and for Android.

    或是可以在 iTunes下載我們全新的 Tonight Show App,安卓也可以喔。

You guys, right now it's time for "Tonight Show Hashtags".

各位,現在是「Tonight Show 主題標籤」的時間。 (註:Hashtag 是各個社群媒體,在#之後加上關鍵字的主題標籤)

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【吉米秀】超尷尬分手故事 (Jimmy Fallon: Tonight Show Hashtags: #AwkwardBreakup)

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    Colin Lin 發佈於 2022 年 05 月 10 日
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