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Shame is the gremlin who says, "Never good enough".
羞愧感是一個會說「永遠不夠好」的小精靈。
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And if you can talk it out of that one, "Who do you think you are?"
而且你能透過說出「你以為你是誰?」解決問題。
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The thing to understand about shame is it's not guilt.
關於羞愧感,我們要知道那並不是罪惡感。
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Shame is a focus on self; guilt is a focus on behavior.
羞愧感是對自我的關注;罪惡感是對行為的關注。
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Shame is, "I am bad"; guilt is, "I did something bad".
「我好糟糕」是羞愧感;「我做了壞事」是罪惡感。
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Shame is highly, highly correlated with addiction, depression, violence, aggression, bullying, suicide, eating disorders.
羞愧感和成癮、憂鬱、暴力、侵犯、霸凌、自殺和飲食障礙有很大的關係。
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And here's what you even need to know more.
這些是你更該知道的事。
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Guilt? Inversely correlated with those things.
罪惡感?與那些東西成反比。
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Shame, for women, is this web of unobtainable, conflicting, competing expectations about who we're supposed to be.
對女性來說,羞愧感是一張無法獲得的、相互矛盾的、與我們期望自己應該成為什麼樣的人相互對抗的網絡。
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For men, shame is not a bunch of competing, conflicting expectations.
對男性來說,羞愧感是一連串互相競爭、矛盾的期待。
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Shame is one: do not be perceived as what?
羞愧感是一個:不被視為什麼?
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Weak.
懦弱。
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But the truth is, vulnerability is not weakness.
但其實脆弱性並不代表懦弱。
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I define vulnerability as emotional risk, exposure, uncertainty; it fuels our daily lives.
我把脆弱性定義為情緒風險、暴露、不確定性,它刺激著我們的日常生活。
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And I've come to the belief ⏤ this is my 12th year doing this research ⏤ that vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.
我決定相信這個看法,這是我做研究的第 12 年——脆弱性是我們對勇氣的最準確衡量標準。
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If we're gonna find our way back to each other, we have to understand and know empathy, because empathy's the antidote to shame.
如果我們想找到回彼此身邊的方法,就必須理解和認識同理心,因為同理心是克服羞愧感的辦法。
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If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment.
如果你把羞愧感放在培養皿裡,它需要三件事才能按指數增長:保密、沉默和判斷。
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If you put the same amount of shame in a petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can't survive.
如果你把同樣數量的羞愧感放在培養皿中,並用同理心澆灌它,它就無法生存。
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The two most powerful words when we're in struggle: me too.
當我們在苦苦掙扎時,三個最強而有力的字是「我也是」。
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If we're going to find our way back to each other, vulnerability is going to be that path.
如果我們要找到回到彼此的方法,脆弱性就是那條途徑。